I’m back. I know, I know, I’ve been quiet lately. It happens. This time my break was prompted by my 6 month oncology visit. A CT scan came back with bad news, and it took a little while to get things cleared up. Fortunately, I’m still not showing signs of cancer metastases or another recurrence…
To be good at creating is to come up with new ideas. Structure makes this easier, but it’s still like standing at the deep end of the pool when we really want to dive in. How can we practice resourcefulness to make inspiration come easily?
Today I am sitting in my living room looking out on a wet, cloud covered evening. The maple tree across the street has burgundy and green boughs that are shaking ever so slightly with breezes that waft down the street. I’ve not yet turned on any lights and a gloom has settled over the furniture like a dark gray blanket.
Do you find yourself feeling so frustrated with your artwork or your creating habits that you feel powerless to create? It could mean you are a victim of your expectations.
Cocooning is needed by creatives, but I think it’s seldom considered a beneficial part of art practice. The brain needs time to mash up ideas subconsciously, time to percolate various experiences and thoughts in order to generate new ideas. Winter seems to be a natural season for this: a time for the brain to marinate all its juicy creative mish-mash
Cancer has shown me that I have a choice: I can decide whether or not I want to enjoy the moment or worry because of fear. I don’t have to feel like a victim, I don’t have to give myself excuses for not meeting my artistic expectations, and I don’t need a purpose for making art. I can experience the pure joy of making a mark. Cancer has changed my art.
During chemo,you don’t see cancer cells dying but you do see healthy cells dying. It makes you feel like you’re killing yourself, like you’re a victim of cancer. Being a victim can pressure you into a mindset that changes the way you do art. This is the first part of my story about how cancer changed my art.